How 2018 taught Louisville fans to handle loss with grace

University of Louisville fans learned how to take losses in stride in 2018.

Sports are a more than just a distraction. For many, sports are an escape from the stress of every day life. And in Louisville, Kentucky, sports are an integral part of life.

It has always been that way for me. As kids in this area, we grow up red or blue, and if you remember growing up a Louisville fan, you probably have memories of watching or listening to your first big games, accompanied by the pure joy of victory, or the absolute agony of defeat. Arguing with the UK kids on the school bus, or in the cafeteria was commonplace. Your relationship with sports is nurtured and grows so much as a child. I remember every major Louisville football and basketball game since I was probably in second grade, and shedding tears after the losses.

As we grow older, we mature in our relationship with the Cards. We become closer in age with some of the players, and can relate more and empathize. The game becomes more humanized the more we grow. Yet, somehow, the pain of defeat still stings just as much as a grown man or woman, and thrill of a big victory can be a welcome distraction from the hardships of life.

I am truly blessed to have had more great Louisville sports memories in the last two decades than my grandparents had in their lifetimes. BCS bowl games, final fours, national titles, college world series appearances, college cups, and so much more. Since I have been able to remember, the Cards have moved from Conference USA, to the Big East, to the ACC. UofL built programs and stadiums from the ground up. They hired some of the best coaches, recruited and developed some of the most memorable players, and gave us some of the best moments year after year. We have gone from disrespected to revered in many aspects.

Everyone has their releases. For some, it can be exercise, family time, cooking… Mine has always been Louisville sports. When life landed it’s toughest blows, Louisville sports was there to pick me back up off the mat. The pain of my grandmother’s death was eased by her favorite football team having an incredible season and winning the Orange Bowl. When I had some of my hardest times with my home life, Louisville basketball was in the middle of a national championship run.

Some will never understand the magnitude of sports and one’s fanhood, and that’s fine. It is just a game- that much is true- but the anticipation, the build up that surrounds the competition, the culture, the highs, the lows, the moments, and all of the little minute details that decide the outcome of a game or a season are the things that I live for. It is just a game, and as we grow, we learn to handle the losses more eloquently, but to me, it has always been so much more. Louisville sports have been my savior when I am down, and they have drained me on some of my good days. It is a relationship that I wouldn’t divorce if it dealt me a thousand straight losses and a hundred scandals.

2018, though, was different. 2018 was a learning moment for us all. Because 2018… Well, 2018 sucked. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot to take away from this calendar year. We learned a lot, and the Cards are in good hands with what is shaping up to be excellent administration, and excellent leadership across the board. But 2018 still sucked, and we need to talk about it.

Not all fun and games

One of the last nights Louisville sports fans really truly enjoyed was January 11th, 2018. My (then) girlfriend and I had intentions to attend the Louisville-Notre Dame women’s basketball game, but life happened and I was content with settling in on the couch to watch the No. 3 Cards host the 5th-ranked Irish. The game turned out to be a complete shellacking by every sense of the word, as the Cards scored 33 in the first quarter, and led 55-28 at the half.

But, mid-way through the second quarter I got a call that changed my life forever.

You know how we talked about how it’s just a game? It really is just a game, you know? And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never had more important news come up when watching your favorite team.

My mom’s voice cracked as I answered the phone and received the news that no one deserves to hear; Let alone a 24-year-old kid. My best friend of 15 years had been shot and killed earlier that day.

For the next hour, the Louisville game served as nothing but background noise as I sat on the couch and sobbed, and tried to pull it together enough to break the news to the rest of our friends and family. I had lost plenty of relatives before, but this time, it was different.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what the hell this has to do with Louisville sports. And for you, maybe nothing. But for me, I needed a reprieve. I needed the thing that had helped me and saved me so many times before, and I so often took it for granted. Sports have absolutely nothing to do with death, and it shouldn’t take your best friend being murdered for you to get to know that. But Louisville sports have been such a welcome distraction in my life, and in so many of yours. Sports aren’t everything, but a 2 or 3 hour break from family, and bills, and responsibility… A lift from depression, anxiety, addiction… death. And although you can’t relate to my story personally, I think we could all use a distraction from life’s burdens from time to time.

So often in the past, my beloved team was there for me when nothing else could be, as is so often the case for sports fans. Not just as something to anticipate, or watch, but as something that I took tremendous pride in. Something that brought me true satisfaction that I have seldom found elsewhere.

2018 Sucked

But as a sports fan, and specifically as a Louisville fan, 2018 wasn’t that. 2018 felt like it added to the stress and the chaos of every day life. Of course every season has losses and disappointment, and you would be naive to expect otherwise. But 2018- Well, 2018 was a different animal altogether.

To understand the depth of the disappointment this year brought, you probably have to go back 16 months:

• On October 16th, 2017, long-time head coach, and Louisville legend, Rick Pitino was fired. Two days later, Tom Jurich, the orchestrator of so much joy in the lives of thousands of Louisvillians, was fired.
• On February 20th, 2018, after lawsuits, and investigation, and delineation, Louisville basketball was officially forced to vacate it’s 2013 national championship, two final fours, and a boat load of memorable wins. 9 days later, on the cusp of making an improbable run to the NCAA tournament under interim coach David Padgett, Louisville blew a four point lead in the most improbable way possible against Virginia, the number one team in the country. 11 days after that, Louisville basketball missed the NCAA tournament for only the second time in 20 years.
• On June 3rd, the Cardinal nine lost in heart-breaking fashion in the NCAA tournament, ending a promising season much too soon.
• Then came the worst football season in program history. Louisville football lost their opener to Alabama 51-14, and that was maybe one of the best games the Cards played all season. They barely crept past lowly Indiana State, needed a late field goal to edge a horrible Western Kentucky team, and then imploded, finishing on an 8 game losing streak and going 2-10.
• On November 11th, Bobby Petrino- the man hired to bring more double digit win seasons to Louisville- was fired for orchestrating a season with double digit losses. Over the course of November and December, Louisville’s best defensive player, and their quarterback of the future transferred, and they signed only four players in the early signing period.
• On December 11th, beloved men’s soccer coach Ken Lolla resigned on the heels of a first round NCAA tournament exit. On December 18th, spirit coach Todd Sharp, the man responsible for over half of Louisville’s national titles, was fired for fiscal misconduct.
• Not to mention that in 2018, the Cards lost to rival Kentucky in both football and basketball, and dropped important rivalry games against the likes of Indiana.
• Lastly, at the end of the 2019 basketball season, a decision looms from the NCAA on what punishment will be dealt to the Cards for their role in the pay-for-play scandal that has sent shock waves across the college basketball landscape.

Not the best year, that 2018, and those are just the highlights- or rather lowlights- of a pretty crummy year. However, I think it is important to take a look back at what this year really taught us.

I think 2018 taught us patience. For so many years, if it wasn’t football, it was basketball. And if it wasn’t basketball, it was women’s basketball, baseball, soccer, and countless other sports. The women’s basketball team did make a run to the final four, which is nothing to overlook by any means, but ultimately left a sour taste in our mouths after a controversial finish. It seemed like in every way, when our Cards took a step forward, it was two steps back.

But, even the most pessimistic person knows that brighter days are ahead. Louisville officially has a new president in Neeli Bendipudi who is as smart and driven as she is compassionate and a breath of fresh air. Vince Tyra is finishing his first full year as athletic director and he has had to fire and hire more coaches in the last eight months than Jurich had to in three years.

Yet, every move Tyra has made just feels like the right one. Chris Mack has a vision for a basketball program that is already ahead of schedule with a group of players that he didn’t recruit to play in his system. Newly-hired football coach Scott Satterfield hasn’t even finished assembling his staff yet and he is still wow-ing fans with his personality, drive, and his determination to do things the right way. From men’s soccer to field hockey to women’s golf, Tyra seems to making all of the right hires to point Louisville athletics in the right direction in 2019 and beyond.

I think 2018 taught us to accept failure with grace. I know that is nothing that you ever want to get the chance to learn, but it is an important lesson nonetheless. Personally, it wasn’t something that came easily to me, but I knew I needed a change of heart, and of mindset when I found myself in a verbal altercation with a visiting North Carolina fan during Louisville’s defeat to the Tarheels this past February. Not the best look, for sure.

Tony Dungy once wrote that “things will go wrong at times. You can’t always control circumstances. However, you can always control your attitude, approach, and response. Your options are to complain or to look ahead and figure out how to make the situation better.”

Sometimes, what you need in life is a wake-up call. Maybe it comes in the form of a close friend or family member falling ill or passing away, losing your job, struggling in a relationship, or maybe it’s something as silly as your favorite team just losing… a lot. Whatever the case, I think in 2018 loss is what we needed.

Going into 2019, accept 2018’s losses as an inevitable part of life. But move forward with the same passion and ambition as you came into this year with. 2019 is going to deal you some tough blows, too, but this time, be ready. Be patient.

As a Louisville fans, keep your lofty expectations, hold onto your hopes and aspirations that this could be the year, the season, the month, the day, or the game that changes everything. 2018 sucked, yes, but what if 2018 is just a springboard into 2019 and beyond? What if this is only the beginning?

Every once in a while, life brings you moments that, if you weren’t so deeply invested in them, that you wish you could have stopped to really take in.

As I sat on the couch, family filing in to console me, and friends I hadn’t spoken to since high school blowing up my phone with messages of support, it was such an odd an uncomfortable juxtaposition to have the Louisville game on in the background. Between sobbing phone calls, and hugs from my family, nobody had bothered to turn the TV off. I looked up and saw Asia Durr, Myisha Hines-Allen, and company beginning to celebrate with 12,000 of their red-clad friends, but had no interest in partaking.

So often, like this past Saturday in the KFC Yum! Center, I just lose myself in the game. I forget that my now-fiance is sitting next to me, trying to stop me from yelling at the refs or much-too-casually offering up my opinion to the stranger sitting next to me. I forget about my shirt being tucked, my hat being on straight, or how much of a child I am being, arguing every call, celebrating every basket. There’s something that is equally beautiful and incredibly obnoxious about my passion for sports and for my Cards.

But all of that pales in comparison to the things that are truly important in life. Relationships, love, physical health and well-being, compassion and care for others. We get so caught up in the wins and losses, and how VJ needs to stop being so complacent on offense, and how VanGorder needs to stop running this or that coverage, that we forget what is truly important.

But, at the same time, what makes being a fan so crazy is what makes it so special. Throwing all of your cares away to just have a drink with your buddies, watch your favorite team, and just forget about the world for a while.

And although I was absolutely devastated on January 11th, and I will never be the same after receiving that news, there was still good that came of it. This year, I learned to think independently. My friend was the only person I could ever lean on to call when I was sad in the middle of the night. Now, I’ve learned to work through problems on my own. “Remember, we are our own griefs, Huseyn Raza once said. “We are our own happinesses and we are our own remedies.”

This year, I learned to step out of my comfort zone. I had to learn to do it on my own. I quit my job and put my recently earned degree to use. I got engaged. I adopted the best doggo in the world (completely unbiased). I was given an opportunity that I am immensely grateful for to partner with Jacob Lane, and grew this incredibly silly and amazing community of Louisville sports freaks at Big Red Louie. I quit my other job, and went back to my old job. I tried to give as much of myself for others, all because of this wake-up call, and all because of my new-found independence.

And as the clock struck :00 at the Yum! Center that night, although I had an indescribable pain in my heart, thousands just down the road, and hundreds of thousands across the city, celebrated in the ridiculous jubilance that only sports can bring. And that is what is so special about sports.

Though we seldom felt that much-sought-after joy in our hearts this season, the thrill of victory could be just around the corner next year.

And, though it is just a game, allow Louisville sports to be a welcomed distraction in your life in 2019.