Merry Christmas Card Nation: Why Louisville basketball will win Saturday

Every December, there’s only one gift that diehard Louisville basketball fans really want – a victory over that one team down the road. In Coach Mack’s first trip to enemy territory, here’s why the Cards will deliver.

Kentucky sucks. That’s so fun to say, but I can hear it already: “we say that every year before Christmas & then they beat us again.” “You know we’re playing in Rupp right?” Yeah, yeah. I don’t care. And you shouldn’t either. Because Kentucky actually does suck, and our beloved Louisville basketball program is clearly the better team. It’s not a dream y’all, it’s a Christmas miracle.

Let’s remind ourselves that our starting lineup goes like this: Junior, 5th-year senior, Junior, 5th-year senior, 5th year senior. That is the kind of experience that wins championships. Remember how great UK’s recruiting class was once again? How many players do they have in the NBA? Nobody cares. They’ve lost two games in a row and dropped to 19th in the AP poll. The Cardinals are ranked third.

Rankings this early in the year don’t matter. Not really. But talent does. The ACC player of the year plays for Louisville. Jordan Nwora is averaging 21 points per game and has made the rest of the NCAA look like a bunch of scrubs. And nobody wants to see him on defense – this ain’t last year, Jordan has the clamps this season.

Steven Enoch is one of the best big men in the country. His footwork in the post along with his shotmaking ability make him Nick Richards‘ worst nightmare. Yeah, that Nick Richards. UK fans keep holding out hope for him to become the next Anthony Davis or something… we’ll hope in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up faster! Nate Sestina and EJ Montgomery don’t want any of this smoke either.

Malik Williams is literally gonna block every shot in his vicinity. David Johnson is gonna blow by Ashton Hagans and try to tear the rim off, shades of Russ Smith on Julius Randle style. It’s gonna be great. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned Ryan McMahon spraying three’s from the ugly blue logo or silky smooth Sam Williamson making their five-star freshmen look silly.

We all know that playing in Lexington means foul trouble as soon as we step off the bus. But no way in heck are we gonna concede a loss whenever our team is trying to win a National Championship. This is just another business trip for our Cards. Kensucky will be playing like their hair is on fire trying to avoid losing three straight games. But it won’t matter.

They’re gonna lose three straight games because Louisville is better. This article is clearly a bit of fun for the weekend. But to be real for a second, when’s the last time we could say that Louisville’s team is better and more talented than UK? We’ve got a SQUAD coming into CorRuppt arena this time around. And to be honest, this game could get ugly, the Cards could blow the kitties out. Wait, let me go ahead and say this if you haven’t got it yet: Louisville is going to win on Saturday.

*Disclaimer: don’t @ me if something opposite happens. this is clearly a “for fun” piece. actually, go ahead and @ me. I love a good debate. Especially after a win.

The amount of L’s down we’re about to see is unprecedented. Has anyone found out if they’re L’s or seven’s yet?

But when Louisville walks out of there with a dub, don’t worry, we’ll show them all how to do it right.

L’s allllll the way up! Go Cards.